Writing a review of ‘Watchmen’ is hard work for any poor bastard assigned with the task. No matter what angle you choose to approach this seminal work with, no matter how you dissect it and not matter how many fancy words you use to shroud your intent, you only end up saying the same god-damn thing:

‘Watchmen’ is the best graphic novel I’ve ever read.

Now, that sentence sure looks nice when it’s centred and highlighted like I’ve done here, but it doesn’t mean as much as you’d think. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t read other comics that I haven’t found more enjoyable on certain levels, nor does it necessarily imply that I think it’s perfect on all accounts. But it does mean that ‘Watchmen’ is so jaw-droppingly awesome that I can’t quite believe it actually exists.

The most common way to describe the plot of ‘Watchmen’ is to say that it’s in part a political drama and murder mystery, but that’s such a insufficient way to put it that you might as well have said that the Sistine Chapel has paintings with nice colours or that Space is a pretty big place; it’s true to a point, but it’s such a vast understatement that it boggles the mind. But just like the Sistine Chapel or Space, ‘Watchmen’ is a piece of art that defies short & sweets summaries because its content is too layered with meaning, juxtapositions and daunting themes that I could easily spend a year’s worth of time trying to analyze this book and I wouldn’t even come close to understanding it all.

Which brings me to my first problem with this book, though whether or not it’s really a problem is something I haven’t decided yet. ‘Watchmen’ is so multi-layered that it requires a remarkably perceptive reader to fully grasp what the author is trying to tell you. Now, you do get a some enjoyment out of following the shallower plots I mentioned above, but if you judged this book based solely on those… well, suffice to say that this book would be far from seminal and would probably only go down in history as an unusually grim and realistic told tale with some major narrative hiccups. There are certain passages here that I spent several hours trying to discern exactly what was going on (and I mean exactly, though I didn’t succeed), and when I was finally satisfied I felt like crying with the sheer brilliance of it… but I was also left with the niggling thought in the back of my mind; “Should it be this hard to read a comic book?” I’ve read a lot of books in my time, and I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve encountered something as demanding ‘Watchmen’ anywhere in fiction before.

And I applaud that fact, I really do, because it’s yet another testament to the genius of this graphic novel, but it’s also a warning to other readers that haven’t ventured into the deep marshes of Alan Moore’s imagination… If I read it again (which I will do at some point), I wouldn’t do it the way I did this time. I’d tear through it once, then twice, then I’d carefully study the art on the third turn, then I’d carefully read all the intermissions, and then and only then do I believe that I’d be fully equipped to get near-to-maximum enjoyment out of this novel. If that sounds a bit much, then so be it, ’cause there are no short-cuts to reading ‘Watchmen’. Leafing through it simply won’t do.

Regarding the artwork by Dave Gibbons, there are a few things I feel like should be mentioned: It is far from spectacular in a purely aesthetic way, which in most cases would be a complaint of mine but no so with ‘Watchmen’. This is a graphic novel that doesn’t draw its inherit awesomeness fifty-fifty from prose and illustrations; actually, I often wondered if certain passages would have worked better if they were in pure prose interspersed with art rather then having both mediums compete for importance to such a degree that I had problems focusing correctly. I still think the most convoluted passages were too crowded, but while I was marvelling at them, it struck me why Gibbon deserves an equal share as Moore in pulling this off. Sure, his panels aren’t beaut’s, nor are they High Art like Moore’s story is, but they are very effective in a simplistic way, which is the only way art could be squeezed into this book at all.

My main beef with the Art department aren’t therefore the illustrations, but rather the washed-out and often-times boring colouring by John Higgins. I mean, I get what he’s trying to do in accordance with the themes and tone of the book, but it still felt off more than it felt right to me, but maybe I’m just too modern a comic reader to fully appreciate the colour-jobs of yore… I hope it’s the latter.

Praising ‘Watchmen’ seems all but moot at this point. I could tick off all the pretty words I normally use to describe the best things, the real classics, I sometimes review on this blog. I could add whole paragraphs where I don’t do anything but wave my hands in the air, trying hopelessly to make it clear just how good ‘Watchmen’ really is. I could do these things (or at least do more of ’em then I’ve already done), but I can’t don’t see the point. If you are at all interested in modern fiction, you’ve either read ‘Watchmen’ already or it’s on the top of your read-stack at this very moment.

Anything else would be a travesty.

Of epic proportions.

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Regarding Zack Snyder’s Upcoming ‘Watchmen’

I really liked Snyder’s take on ‘300’. I even liked it better than Frank Miller’s original graphic novel, but you can’t claim that either of them were especially deep or multi-layered the way ‘Watchmen’ is. I can’t for the life of me see how Snyder is going to incorporate the stuff that makes this novel what it is; he’s most likely just going to make a summer blockbuster by the superficial plots, which are, in all honesty, not anything special.

That being said, I can’t claim that I’m not looking forward to watch the abomination. It’s most likely not going to be anything like the source material, but I can’t help but think that it’s going to be awesome in some totally different, and enjoyable, ways.

What?

Don’t look at me that way!

God-damn you – I am being optimistic, so shut the hell up. It can’t be that bad.